Showing Up

I have been staring at a blank page for a couple of hours now trying to muster up some words, any words, they don't even have to be that coherent.

But alas I have failed in my task. My masterpiece has alluded me today. My Pulitzer winning piece did not materialise.

But... I DID show up. I came prepared to do the work.

And tomorrow morning I will show up again. And maybe no words will appear again. But I have to believe they will.

But even if not, I will show up the next day, and then the next, and then the next....

So show up today. Then tomorrow.

Be prepared to work for your art.

But don't worry if you fail.

It will come.

As long as you show keep showing up....

Your art will show up.

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PISSED OFF!

I read some advice at the weekend about not writing while you are angry.

This doesn’t sound like good advice to me. If one doesn’t write while they are angry should we resist from writing when we are sad, depressed, melancholic or joyous? It seems to me the best art comes from a myriad of emotions.

I haven’t written on my blog for a long while. Very sporadically actually but recently when I have sat down to write I seem to be always drawn back to creativity or thoughts on why we sit and muster up images, words or semitones in our head and I have come to the simple conclusion on why millions of us do this on a daily basis.

Because you need to.

You don’t really have a choice.

You need to create new things. You need to continue to explore the endless possibilities that art holds. 

You wake up and if you don’t sing at some point during the day you feel like you will explode.

Or if you don’t write you will continue to suppress the thoughts that could change the world.

Not creating is killing you.

When you feel like that, you are creative and you should do something about it. Namely create.

That’s why some bands struggle with the difficult second album syndrome. They have created something successful the first time around and so they try to recreate it. While they should really be focusing on creating something new and fresh. They aren’t really creating at all.

That’s why some pastors leave their churches to make tv shows in Hollywood. It’s not that they don’t care about or regret their previous existence. They just need to explore the side that, and let’s not forget this, God handed them.

And that’s why I sit here slightly pissed off at myself. Pissed off that I haven’t been doing that. Not moving to Hollywood. 

But creating. 

If being pissed off means that I, and all of us, let go and come out with our voice and our song and change the world and help someone, then I say better to be angry and create than happy and not follow who you are. 

Because ultimately, even if it is painful, creating will satisfy you.

Isn’t that something we should get angry about?

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What I have learned about being creative (without actually being creative)

This can be a scary place if you are creative.

Hey....I'm down here.

That's better! Yeah one of the scariest places you can be when you are creative is that blank canvas. Even before you have an idea. Even before you know what you are going to write, paint, speak about, discover. It can be truly terrifying.

But it's not the scariest. The scariest is that after a while you have this.

Still here.

A clean blank sheet with no marks or words or pictures. Not because you can't come up with them. But because you haven't even tried.

No one said it would be easy. It's not supposed to be. So stop trying to make it easy and live with it being awkward, hard, confusing, frustrating.

Because only then can it be liberating.

And only then can it be good.

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Why I like being punched in the face (or just writing that to get your attention)

Writing is easy when you know what to write about. It’s not as easy when you don’t. A bit like now. Well actually exactly like now.

I read a post by the very funny Tripp Crosby, one half of the twice as funny duo Tripp and Tyler that made me laugh. They are twice as funny as each of them on their own since there is two of them and two is better than one. Unless of course you are talking about punches in the face. I think usually one punch in the face is better than two.

I know that one isn’t ideal but it’s better than say seven. Seven punches would be annoying.

Anyway back to the point. He decided to write a post totally without planning and by just writing and so this whole post is and has been an attempt at just that. It’s good advice I think to just write when you can’t think of anything to write. I mean writing something is better than writing nothing right? (You see if I had planned this post I would have included a lot less various forms of right/write in that last sentence but I didn’t so get over it)

Or maybe not. Maybe as you read this you are thinking what the heck is he talking about?! Maybe you are wishing I indeed did write nothing. If so I’m sorry for wasting your time. I will try to be better prepared and have a topic ready to go. My bad. Actually I'm not sorry. I am sorry for just lying to you though.

If you like this post then, well actually I think you are a little weird because it’s pretty rubbish.(Great I just alienated all my readers. Sorry Mum). But I gave it a go. Maybe it didn’t go to plan or maybe it went better. Maybe I just taught myself something about going for things even if they don’t work out the way you wanted.

Now I bet you are thinking that I wrote all that rubbish/genius stuff before about getting punched in the face just so I could come up with an amazing conclusion and a great life lesson about just going for it. But I didn’t.

Maybe I am just a genius. Or maybe not. Probably not actually.

Oh well.

You probably want to punch me in the face now.

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Knowing God, knowing you. Aha! (Why God needs our love)

Sometimes when talking about Jesus, the Bible and Christianity we use words that sometimes seem to feel natural but when we look closely are kind of awkward. Take ‘having a personal relationship with Jesus’ for example. We tell people that they need to have a personal relationship with the Lord but we aren’t told that any where in the Bible. So why do we use phrases like this? Where did it come from? Who invented it? And if it’s not Biblical should we come up with different phrases or should we be coming up with phrases at all?

But even if having a personal relationship with Jesus was written in the Bible maybe we should think more about what that means.

I can go long periods of not spending any time reading the Bible. I hear someone read from it and explain what it means every week in Church but I don’t sit down and take the time to read it for myself. I don’t go home after Church and then re read it again. Why don’t I? Does it even matter if I don’t? The Bible doesn’t tell us to have a quiet time every day.

The same for prayer. I don’t pray nearly as much as I should. And when I say that, I only say it to sound like I still pray at least a little. But I’m tricking you because really I don’t pray much at all. Every now and again. When I feel like it. Which is once every blue moon. And really how often do you see a blue moon?

So the main reason I don’t like using the phrase ‘having a personal relationship with Jesus’ is not because it may not be exactly written in the Bible but because I don’t want to have to put the effort in.

Why should I? I mean God is God after all. I am a person and therefore am going to be a huge mess up sometimes so shouldn’t God the perfect all knowing being be the one who pursues me all the time. Shouldn’t he know that I might just not want to do ‘Christian’, heck even just the right things all the time.

Or should I make the effort since he went to such great lengths to love me by coming to Earth and sacrificing himself for me? Should I be more grateful and show that by praying and reading my Bible more. Serving others more. Is that what having a personal relationship with God means? Me making the effort.

Which is it?

Yes.

What?

Yes.

It’s both?

Yeah, what if it is both? What if God’s grace is so amazing that he doesn’t need my love but still be so human that he does?

The best relationships you will have with other people are the ones where there is give and take. Which most of the time I am fine with if I’m just taking. When it comes to giving I’m a little reluctant. When it comes to God I am even more reluctant. I don’t want to give my time to God. I tell myself that if I read my Bible all the time I will become really fundamental. If I pray I will lose touch with reality and I will look weird. I’m afraid of what will happen to me if I give to you.

But what if by not doing those things I am missing out?

What if God actually does need me to do those things?  What if when God pours his love out on us and we don’t return it, it’s not just me that loses out but also God? When we think of God we don’t tend to think of Him needing our love. But God became human. He became like us and I think he feels like us.

I don’t think He needs our love.

And yet I definitely do think He does.

Yes.

We usually have a hard time thinking of the trinity but if nothing else I think the trinity shows that even God needs others. Even God can’t survive without others. Even He isn’t really complete unless there are others in the equation.

And I like that idea of God. I like that idea because it means that when I need him I’m not just praying to a God that is distant. I’m not just bothering a God who doesn’t need anyone else and certainly doesn’t need me getting in his face about whether I should apply for a new job or move country or give more money away.

It’s hard for me to not think of another phrase other than having a relationship with God. So maybe it’s alright to think of it in those terms. Because relationships don’t work unless both people are in.

Why should that be any different with God?

Should I be surprised when I feel that God is far away when I am not spending time trying to get to know him. All of us just want to be known. Maybe the reason we do is because we are made in His image.

So does that mean God wants to be known?

Does it mean he needs to be known?

What do you think? Does that make God small or weak? Does it make God more approachable?  Is it about being disciplined? What works for you?

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