there is hope

The great thing about getting to do a placement as I am at the moment with East Belfast Mission is I get to learn from people who aren't happy with how the world is and sees a better 'version' of society and culture and the world we live in. EBM is striving to do that and its great to see and be a small part of.

Today I got the opportunity to sit in on a seminar on theology and practioners and the role in reconcilliation. This was great as I got to learn from some great theologians and practioners in Northern Ireland. The people I got to spend time with today were smart people so quite what I was doing there I don't know but it was a fascinating insight into faith and how our understanding should impact our lives espacially in regards to our society. If I am honest and I would rather not because it won't do my ego any good, I thought a lot of it was over my head. However getting home reading my notes I had made, I realised maybe it wasn't too bad. Perhaps the language was confusing at times but the themes being explored were things I had in one way or the other reflected on. There were ideas of how the church should improve and also things that the church should stop doing and it all made sense to me in a practical way.

That doesn't always mean it works out well unfortunately but with what I witnessed today and with what I heard there are people of a Christian faith in this country with some great ideas. That was both inspiring and comforting especially with certain controversies that the church is dealing with and unfortunately letting overlook some great theological and practical work being done.

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home sweet home...not

So I've just returned home after a week in New York. I had a great week, met some great new people, ate too many pancakes, got lost a couple times on the subway but all in all a fantastic week.... until I got home.

Don't get me wrong its good to be home but not when you spend the first 24 hours throwing up including an unfortunate incident on a bus...
Anyway, back home, new year, don't feel any different like I think you are supposed to magically at New Year (I don't go for the whole New Year thing!) but I want to be different this year.
I want to change, be less fake, not be afraid to show my emotions instead of always saying I'm fine if I'm not, not care so much what people think of me, take a few more chances, appreciate friends more plus a thousand other ways I want to change.

I guess what I am saying is I don't want to take a moment once a year to make decisions that I know I won't follow up on. I want to be changing every day more into the person I think I'm meant to be.

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Flight of the Conchords

Thanks to my friend Brittany for introducing me to these funny New Zealanders

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Christmessy

So its very nearly here. I can sense a real change in my attitude to Christmas every year
I mean growing up it was always about presents, church, getting the Radio Times, Santa coming, and hanging with my cousins. And most of those things are still going on (yeah... even Santa)
But its just not the same. I'm not as excited as I used to be.
I can't quite figure out why, maybe its just part of growing up.
I do know though that I dont really care too much about getting lots of stuff anymore. Most of the stuff I never use again. I can't even remember what I got and who I got it from.
So this year maybe I'm looking forward to seeing a few friends who I havent seen in a while, just hanging out and getting away from the selfish Christmas that I've always been used to

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Unselfish Friends

So just back from the rugby with some friends from college and Ulster lost...again. They didn't play badly really but the ref had a nightmare.

What was more important though was getting to hang out with friends, some who I don't know when I will see again. Its times like that when you think its important to really appreciate every moment.

I often take friendships for granted. Its the people I see every day who just become people who are part of my life but I don't really appreciate who they are, what makes then unique. Sometimes I fall into that trap and it sucks because esentially I just use them to make myself feel good. I like their personalities but really I like them because they make me feel loved or important. My problem is I don't really give much back. I take without giving.

I think we need to get our affirmation of who we are at the deepest level from God. When I look to other people for that I end up trying to control what my friends think of me, which just messes me up. I want the freedom from knowing that it isn't important to make sure that every one likes you, that every one thinks you are great. You can't manipulate people to love you because thats not real authentic friendship.

So I want to be a friend who loves because I can, not for what I can get out of it, because at the moment I need affirmation from my friends more than I'm willing to give it.

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