21 Dec 2008

Pushing against a wall

It's hard for me to write sometimes. This may be reflected in how it has been exactly a month since I last posted something here. I really like to write but for some reason I have just found it tough recently. There may be many reasons.

I've just finished this term at college and was getting sick of writing essays. Or maybe it's because I just don't have anything to say right now. But there is another reason I think might be important in my not writing.

Sometimes when we are called to something we start to struggle with that thing.

For example I believe that I'm called to stay sexually pure but I find it tough to do so sometimes. Yeah sure there are loads of things we are all called to as Christians in general and being sexually pure is one of them. But with my past life of lust and porn I believe this is something I am specifically called to. Or maybe you are called to be a leader but struggle with your ego. Maybe you are called to give help to someone or some people but struggle with selfishness. There are many ways we can be called specifcally.

And its in these times that I believe that we find it hard to be that person. We have an urge to become exactly the opposite of who we are meant to be, even when we really desire to be that.

And I also love to write. I love reading and I love how words can make sentances that can have such a massive impact on us. I'm thinking Rob Bell and Don Miller here pacifically. I enjoy writing and without sounding like I have a massive head I think that I have some talent for it. That's not boasting. It could be a gift. But thats for another time.

What I am saying is when we feel like we are failing with something we feel we are called to we shouldn't just give up. Satan could be making you feel this way because he knows that (insert your own thing here) is what you are called to. He knows it and he will do anything to make you doubt that.

So I haven't felt like writing lately and I am starting to see that maybe I have been feeling like this because I have been called to write and if I fulfill this then I am doing my part in building God's kingdom. Maybe Satan wants me to waste my time with something else other that what I was made to.

So don't get down if you are seeing a wall with something you were created to do. Don't get down if how you're behaving right now is the opposite of the person you believe you are called to. Don't get frustrated if you are struggling with being that person.

Instead be inspired and more confident that this thing is what you are called to. Maybe your lack of desire to be that or you're fighting to be like that is down to someone wanting you not to be.

Let this fact be an encouragement, not a doubt in your mind.


"Maybe Satan wants me to waste my time with something else other that what I was made to."

thank you for these words paul. i needed them.


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