I wish I was the kind of person who was able to sit down and feel God's presence and not get distracted. But I'm not. Plus I always felt Quiet times were boring and for the overly religious. I never thought God was boring but I just thought spending time with him was. Strange.
So last week I decided to have a quiet time every morning for the week. If only to see how it changed me, if at all. I have never been one for disciplines. I always thought they would make me boring and condescending or something like that. But I knew that if I at least gave it a go, then I could say I have made an effort getting to know God better.
Mistake number 1.
You see I thought that quiet times were going to radically change me. They were going to stop me sinning. They were going to stop me being tempted. They were going to give me some sort of understanding about God that was going to solve all my problems.
But it didn't.
And normally that would be enough to put me off doing it anymore.
But it hasn't.
And why? Because I think I have learned something important about quiet times. They aren't meant to magically solve everything. They are meant to be about being in God's prescence.
I read in an article recently about a guy who struggled with temptation and depression, who used to ask God to take away all his problems, to heal him.
But everytime he just heard silence.
I can relate to that. Wanting God to just take away some problem in my life so that I could properly follow him. I prayed so many times that if he took it away he would see a new me. For me it was porn. For you it could be something else. It doesn't really matter.
But for the guy that wrote the article and for me, we were often met with silence. I think that if God solved all our problems, or took away all our temptations we would simply look for something else. We wouldn't really be satisfied. We wouldn't really see a 'new' me. We would head somewhere else instead.
And that's what I think the point of quiet times are.
Jesus.
Jesus wants a relationship with us. He doesn't want to be our genie.
Sure he might grant us our wish but do I know Jesus better because of it?
If I woke up tomorrow and I wasn't tempted anymore does that mean I will be closer to Jesus?
I don't think so. I think we should have quiet times so we can get closer to God. Just enjoy his presence. Let him into everything we are experiencing. Not just to solve our problems. Be honest.
Does God want to save us from the things we struggle with? Of course he does.
But if thats all he does then we aren't really getting to know and enjoy him and we aren't really growing.
And that's why I am going to stick with times with God. Because even if I don't sin anymore I still won't have Jesus.
And I would rather have Jesus.
