Pushing against a wall

It's hard for me to write sometimes. This may be reflected in how it has been exactly a month since I last posted something here. I really like to write but for some reason I have just found it tough recently. There may be many reasons.I've just finished this term at college and was getting sick of writing essays. Or maybe it's because I just don't have anything to say right now. But there is another reason I think might be important in my not writing.Sometimes when we are called to something we start to struggle with that thing.For example I believe that I'm called to stay sexually pure but I find it tough to do so sometimes. Yeah sure there are loads of things we are all called to as Christians in general and being sexually pure is one of them. But with my past life of lust and porn I believe...

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Letting Go

So I play for a football team called Ambassadors FC and tonight we played in the final of the shield in a competition we are in. It was a pretty good game, competitive, end to end stuff but unfortunately we lost.Yeah it was really disappointing especially how we got back in the game really well. And it got worse because I think I was kind of responsible for their winning goal. That sucks. I felt crap about it. I felt like I had let the whole team down. I just wanted to get changed and go home.But I realised that how I treated this game is a lot like how I treat life. You see I played pretty well otherwise. The whole team did. But I did my bit and worked hard. One short moment of lacking in concentration was the only major mistake I made the whole game. And yet that one moment ruined the game...

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Evolve or Die

OK. So first things first. I don't really want to moan on here but I want to get something off my chest. When you are at a concert and insist on clapping (don't get me started on that one) please ensure that you do so in time with the music. This is for the girl sat behind me on Friday night. Phew! Glad that is out in the open. Anyway..On Friday I went to one of the most amazing concerts I have been to. I was at the Opera House in Belfast to see the Swell Season. If you don't know who that is, then why not?? If you haven't seen the movie Once then why not??Don't read on. Check out Glen Hansard singing "Say it to me now" unplugged from the concert. Awesome!But I want to talk about something he said as an introduction to one of the songs. I can't remember the name of it but he used a phrase...

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One of the reasosn I like to write here is that allows me to put my thoughts into some sort of coherent (or maybe not) order. Either way I get to think through what I have been reading or thinking about.This time it was something that I read by Jon Acuff. I have mentioned him before on here but you should go straight away right now and check out his website.What I really want to talk about is not what he said exactly but how he is able to open the Bible up and really allow what it is saying to us. Sometimes I read the Bible and it all seems so familiar, it doesn't really isnpire me. I kind of feel apathetic sometimes. But thankfully there are people out there like Jon who are able to help us see the depth of what the Bible says.This might sound heretic as if I am saying that the Bible isn't...

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explanations

I often find myself reading something that really resonates with me or stirs something within me that gets me excited about who I am. I like that. Recently for me it was the latest posting by Shellie R Warren on her blog on the xxxchurch site.I like her take on all things to do with sexuality and what she said really got me thinking about being Holy and who we are in Christ. I won't go into great detail, but I want to share what I got from it.She basically talked about being uncommon, about not being like everyone else, about treating yourself like God treats you, basically loving yourself. This is something I have a hard time doing sometimes.You see to be common means to go with the grain or to try and be like everyone else even if you know that its not good for you. To be uncommon means...

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To Be Or Not To Be....

Recently I have decided I want to be more wise. I have even attempted to grow a beard. But unfortunately that does not make you wise because if it did I would at least be heading in the right direction. Instead I think wisdom comes from good choices, from experience and from learning from others who have made the same mistakes you have but are learning from them.I think I made a fairly good start at being wise when I started to get accountable. I struggled with lust and porn and getting a couple of my friends to ask me how I was doing, to challenge me on my habits was a good choice.A bad choice is sitting on your computer at midnight when you know that you get tempted the most at these times. A good choice is planning your day so that you won't have times when you are vulnerable. A bad choice...

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Stuff Retailers Like Part 1

I have had an idea for a book for a while and I first proposed this idea to a friend I used to work with. To be honest I don't think there is much of a market for a book called "101 annoying comments customers make to me while I work in the shop". But for me and my friend it provided a few minutes lightheartedness. So in homage to http://www.stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com here is my own version.1. "I only came in for one thing" This is probably one of my favourites. The person who apparantly only needed a loaf of bread but then presents you with a trolley full of stuff you didn't even knew you sold is a mystery to me. At what point on their journey from the bread to the checkout did they realise they needed half the shop. Even more puzziling is when they return the next day and repeat...

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Father Ted Part Deux

So time for part two of my all time favourite Father Ted moments. If you thought the last one was funny, well let's just say, well...this one is funnier....yeah....that's it. So enjoy and after you have finished wiping the tears of joy from your eyes head on over to www.stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com.If you have been brought up in church with all its tradition and unspoken rules, then I reckon you will find this site highly ammusing. It continues to hit the mark....Enjo...

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Laughter the best medicine

I don't know if there are any Father Ted fans that read this.If any of LeCto are reading this these next few posts are for you.They say (whoever they are) that laughter is the best medicine and I don't know if it can really dig deep to issues we have or solve all our problems but I know I love a good laugh hahahah lol haha....ok... Maybe I will post some day on the different types of laughs.But for now enjoy these golden nuggets of comedy. If you are having a crap day I hope this brings a little light to youSo today is day 1 of my all time 5 favourite moments from the show. There are so many that are amazing but these are the ones that just get me every time. So here goes. Prepare to laugh and laugh. You won't be able to help yourse...

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Perfection

Having been thinking about grace a lot I have been pondering perfection. I' ve always heard or understood from church that we are called to be like Jesus. That's a pretty big ask. Jesus was smart, never sinned, was good with words, had people hanging off his every word and action, loved everyone, didn't give up easily and a million other things I struggle with living up to.I see this Jesus and I know that there is no way I could ever be like him. It would be great but I think it is a totally unrealistic goal. So quite often I give up and I decide maybe subconciously to just plod on. To struggle through life. To accept my flaws and hope that God still loves me and he is OK with me living at a sub par potential. I think at least I am saved, even if my life never amounts to much well at least...

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Getting Grace

I think for Christians we talk a lot about grace. I mean when we become a Christian it is so important, we are told how amazing it is how crucial it is, how we need to embrace it. It is totally wonderful, unfair, illogical and that is why I like it. Somehow though grace seems to take a back seat after. It's like it is our way in and that is that. But I believe grace is much bigger. I believe we need to accept it daily. I don't think we truly understand it. We give so much emphasis to it but then not enough.I have been thinking about it a lot recently. I want it to be part of my life everyday. When I sin I need it because it takes away the guilt that I feel. That sounds like a cop out and a license to keep sinning. But I think that is wrong. I think the more that I understand grace the more...

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Back to Blagging

I haven't written here in ages. I just stopped. I couldnt' be bothered. And that's OK. But now I feel like I want to start writing again. When I started I said I didn't care if anyone ever read this and hey presto no one did except for a couple of people. Thank you :) You know who you areBut I think I really did care. And so I stopped. But that is stupid so I have decided I need to write just for me. To organise the many random thoughts I have (which there are a lot believe me), and to understand myself better. Sorry if that sounds like some sort of psychological rubbish thats probably because it is. But from now I am writing again. If no one reads this my ego will probably not like it. I kind of want to be a writer and I guess if I do I should want to write for myself in the first place....

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Don't give up

Recently I have been going through some stuff thats been troubling me. I've been having thoughts about Christianity, my purpose or calling, if I can even be bothered with any of it, whatever any of it is anyway. I've felt like God doesn't care and frankly I'm not sure I was even bothered about that. I've laid in bed not wanting to get up the following morning, wishing I could stay in bed for a long time. I know that some people who have these feelings are diagnosed with depression and maybe thats what I felt. It sure felt like it could be.No doubt a lot of the feelings I have had have arisen from struggles I have with sexual sin. I have failed a few times with particular struggles I have been having. Just when I thought I was over one particular aspect of sexual sin, another has risen its...

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there is hope

The great thing about getting to do a placement as I am at the moment with East Belfast Mission is I get to learn from people who aren't happy with how the world is and sees a better 'version' of society and culture and the world we live in. EBM is striving to do that and its great to see and be a small part of.Today I got the opportunity to sit in on a seminar on theology and practioners and the role in reconcilliation. This was great as I got to learn from some great theologians and practioners in Northern Ireland. The people I got to spend time with today were smart people so quite what I was doing there I don't know but it was a fascinating insight into faith and how our understanding should impact our lives espacially in regards to our society. If I am honest and I would rather not because...

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home sweet home...not

So I've just returned home after a week in New York. I had a great week, met some great new people, ate too many pancakes, got lost a couple times on the subway but all in all a fantastic week.... until I got home.Don't get me wrong its good to be home but not when you spend the first 24 hours throwing up including an unfortunate incident on a bus...Anyway, back home, new year, don't feel any different like I think you are supposed to magically at New Year (I don't go for the whole New Year thing!) but I want to be different this year.I want to change, be less fake, not be afraid to show my emotions instead of always saying I'm fine if I'm not, not care so much what people think of me, take a few more chances, appreciate friends more plus a thousand other ways I want to change.I guess what...

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